Finally the Finale: Roommating in New York

Looking for a place to live in New York City is generally an awful, exhausting, depressing, overwhelming, and stressful experience. For those of us who can't afford to pay a broker, Craigslist is the go-to spot for finding new digs.

When it came time for me to get practical and figure out where i was going to live, Craigslist is where i went. I knew one person in NYC, and she was living in a residence for women--yeah, just like in Bosom Buddies. So i started out looking for rooms with other people. Now, you go check out that Craigslist page. Come back here, then check it again in, say 10 minutes. Pretty likely it will have 4 or 5 more possibilities (unless you're checking at some crazy time that no one's on the internet here, like 10 pm Friday night. in which case, i suggest you get on the phone and call a friend. or your mother. just get off your computer!)

Checking out CL got more stressful by the day. Not to mention that i was unaware that in NYC, there's no such thing as this "pre-leasing" phenomenon you can jump on in Austin. If you want a place in Manhattan, you better be ready to say "yes" when you look at it. And how was i going to do that?!?

I didn't realize just how stressed i was until the conversation in which my friend Melinda said that she would like to look for a place with me. I felt like the earth lifted off my shoulders and i hadn't even realized i'd been carrying it. (oy. there will be cliche in this post. i'm tired and sick. or should i say sick and tired, just to make the point?)

So i did the online work, emailed the possibilities to Melinda, and she called about them. One night she called me from the first place she visited. It was a 6-month sublet in East Village, a "converted two bedroom" which means it's a 1BR and someone sleeps in the living room. The guy was nice, she said, and it seemed like a decent place. I had a good feeling about it. But she wanted to check out another one. So she marched down a few blocks to the Lower East Side to visit another. A second couple arrived shortly after she did. It was cheaper, but had been smoked in. Smaller. Further from the trains. She needed to decide because the people after her wanted it, but the guy would give her preference since she came earlier.

We decided to go with the other one. The very first one she looked at.

And I was moving to New York! The Village! Wow!

I arrived in early June 2005. Melinda and i managed to enjoy making dinners together and eating on the little Ikea endtable she picked up off the street. We decorated with various other "found objects." We learned a lot about each other and how to Not Kill a Person when you're living in small, emotionally charged quarters. A very useful lesson.

Then in late July, Melinda decided to move back to Texas. I had been in class for a few weeks, and was feeling at home in the neighborhood, so while it was a surprise, i felt hopeful that i'd find someone to take her place for the remaining few months. It took a couple of weeks to find her, but i ended up with Abby, who was moving to the city from PA for interior design school. She took longer than expected to actually get moved, so i ended up with the apartment all to myself for about a month. Cushy!

After Labor Day, Abby moved in, and about a month and a half later, in October, Melinda came in for an audition. Certain major events she had moved to TX for had not come to pass, and she was thinking of returning to New York. After putting out a fleece one night, she got a pretty clear answer to stay. So she did. On an air mattress next to mine in the living room of our one-bedroom tiny apartment. Abby had the walk-in-closet-sized bedroom.

In November, our sublease was ending, so we had to do something, though. Would it be me and Abby? All three of us? Would we each fend for ourselves? Would i move in with Diana from California who had contacted me in August but wasn't moving until later in the fall? What to do?

Once again, searching the apartment listings. Gaping at the rents. This time not knowing whether to look for a 1, 2, or 3 BR. It was stressful. I was asking about every person i knew to pray with me. for me. lay hands on me. give me whiskey...

I remember one saturday afternoon in the midst of it all, when the three of us had been discussing the whole situation, i just broke down crying in the middle of the kitchen because the thought of getting used to another roommate just sounded like, well, hell. Not that i had had a bad time really with any of the roommates before, but the effort and emotional space and the going through the beginnings again...I couldn't handle thinking about it!

That week, checking my email at school, i got a forward from Anna, the InterVarsity staffworker at NYU. It was a desperate plea from a friend of hers whose roommate had just announced she was leaving at the end of the month. "For you?" was Anna's message. I called Christine and got her on the phone while i was in the basement of the NYU library. "do you want to come over now?" she asked. "Yes!" i replied. There was something happening, and it seemed right.
(of course, i now know that an impulsive idea from Christine isn't exactly an uncommon phenomenon)

So i followed her directions to get on a PATH train to New Jersey. She met me & took me through a mall to her apartment. It was HUGE. The bedroom was tiny, and at the time, filled with a queen-sized mattress. But i knew it was right. We prayed together. I went back to the village and told the girls i would probably be moving in with Christine.

On November 15, 2006, 16 years to the day after deciding to follow the Jesus guy, Josh Cheatham (brother of Emily, former Austin roommate), David & Natalie Bush, Anna Lee and her roommate, came to help me pack up and move across the Hudson to the Garden State. (Ahhhh! now i get the blog title!) And i hoped, prayed, swore, and signed in blood (well, not exactly), that Christine would either be my last roommate, or send me off to a permanent one.

We lived across from busy Hamilton Park, walked to the PATH train through Newport-Pavonia mall. Every day. And had a great view of manhattan from our little neighborhood boardwalk.

And that's it for roommates. Christine makes a nice round 90. We did acquire what we affectionately call "housemates" in John & Alicia Pittard when we moved to Harlem. Wondermous. Oh, and since then, we've also had two long-term guests, Jennavave and Theresa, (and now Christine's sister, Candace, and her fiance, Jakob). So if i count them (we'll call it gratuity), that brings me now to a grand total of...95! Ninety-five sharers of house with Brie. (heh. i didn't count my parents in that. Do my parents count? heck. if i count the Pittards, i have to count my parents. 97!)

And now, Christine has gotten funding for 18 months of dissertation research. In Paraguay.

So i'll be looking for a new roommate, come October. Or maybe i should get three, and make it a nice complete 100.

Any ideas?